unisouthwest

In Accra on the way to Beirut, Lebanon, I had the unique opportunity to reflect on an earlier turbulent and traumatic week that has so much consumed my time, energy, sleep and weekly deliverables. I recalled a favorite Yoruba adage on my wife’s e-mail signature line-“ No matter how far falsehood has traveled it must eventually be overtaken by truth” my literal translation is, “If lies run for twenty years, the truth would come to light one day”

Most adults my age and civilization can relate to past indiscretions and adulterous relationships, but few can relate to one that simply refuses to go away. The psychologist Robert Ornstein and the biologist Paul Ehrlich argued decades ago, in their book “New World New Mind” that our minds have failed to keep up with the times-that we were, in a sense, cave men and cave women, struggling to deal with modern problems to which our minds were not suited.

How could we explain obstinacy or when the adversary is assigned the role of the victim? Sometimes, one wonders where lies our family honor, morals and dignity. The values of our culture dictate that we behave in a manner that exemplifies our religious belief. If nature offers a moral standard by which we measure ourselves, and a set of values to which we should aspire, exactly what sort of values are they if we have to claim ownership to something that does not belong to us and refuse to give up.

One of the greatest sin any man or woman can commit is to indulge in an adulterous relationship. Worse than that is the inability to recognize or even acknowledge its gravity, worse still is to justify it as righteous. A close colleague once told me, “Adultery is worse than murder” and I tend to agree with him.

The need for restoration of our values and request for deliverance from sinful behavior is never too late. We are all given the opportunity to turn a new leaf. The bible tells us in Isaiah 1:18 “even though our sins are as red as scarlet, he would wash us as white as snow”

The first stop to restoration is the admittance of guilt and wrongdoing. Friends and family members might tend to tell us differently, but the bible says, in Matthew 5:30, “If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.” The bible also says in Genesis 2:24, “a man shall leave his family for his wife”. The bible is never wrong. For a second step, it is time to reexamine our motives and move on. Marriage is a sacred institution and if you believe in questioning the sanctity of this institution, we probably ought to search elsewhere for our values. Adam Smith, one of the greatest Economists of our generation, believed that the core desire of all people was to be both loved and worthy of love.

The third, and final step is to repent and ask for forgiveness, there is room and time for deliverance and healing. Taking this step can help to improve our reactions to information about a complex and often upsetting world. Nothing makes sense, and trying to fathom the logic of our actions could be both upsetting and painful. The past is and should not be our destiny. George Washington once said: “Truth will ultimately prevail. There is pain to bring it to light”.

“Truth and experiences are related, we must come to grips with them”

 – Olufemi Olugbemi

Please leave comments and thank you for your time.

-Bridget